we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
