Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
my liver is dry heaving
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
