At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
