and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everclear isn't food dammit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
