It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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