Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
