already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
