My brain says no but my pants say off.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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