Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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