His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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