it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
