so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
