Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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