oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
