What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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