I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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