i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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