even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
