Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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