What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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