The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
