She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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