and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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