question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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