And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
