were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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