I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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