We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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