So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
