My Higher Power is John Stamos
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
