Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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