:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
