still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
