I wish i was in the wii world.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
