i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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