I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
