There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
