True but thats because hes a fetus.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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