Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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