I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
