ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk is not a location!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
