my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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