in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
