i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
