Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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