My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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