walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Are we still banned from the library?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
