I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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