Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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