guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
