lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
