We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
