He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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