I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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