ugly people sure do ruin things
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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