you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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