I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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