she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.