Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want to walk on stilts...naked

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  (970): I want to walk on stilts...naked http://tfl.nu/tpp3
  Replies (14) Good night (1970) Bad night (625)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  Predator. Straight up.

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  (574): I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator? (1-574): Predator. Straight up. http://tfl.nu/63zz
  Replies (5) Good night (853) Bad night (3179)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.

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  (513): the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust. http://tfl.nu/fcbh
  Replies (21) Good night (698) Bad night (5911)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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  (574): i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting http://tfl.nu/eus0
  Replies (23) Good night (3705) Bad night (1860)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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  (903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x
  Replies (14) Good night (7416) Bad night (1199)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5993) Bad night (1231)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.

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  (281): The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/4mrf
  Replies (20) Good night (1585) Bad night (2872)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"

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  (516): Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/dwjq
  Replies (8) Good night (5532) Bad night (904)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.

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  (613): I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while. http://tfl.nu/jj3x
  Replies (5) Good night (2211) Bad night (878)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..

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  (541): just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony.. http://tfl.nu/riwy
  Replies (5) Good night (4977) Bad night (1331)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (905)
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  (518): View more from New York

  My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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  (518): My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday. http://tfl.nu/tcvi
  Replies (5) Good night (1831) Bad night (645)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.

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  (509): He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes. http://tfl.nu/sfqd
  Replies (5) Good night (1827) Bad night (652)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested

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  (770): How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested http://tfl.nu/aiir
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?

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  (484): Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours? http://tfl.nu/xndj
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (577)

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