Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

Fav 1 1392 842
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

Fav 6 3294 1302
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage

Fav 4 4450 1180
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...

Fav 4 1267 737
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

Fav 13 1642 742
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

Again?

Fav 8 961 1591
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

It's blow job season.

Fav 51 1938 761
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?

Fav 2 58 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that

Fav 1 10 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT