They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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