dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize