Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
