I like to think it a success when the cops are called
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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