similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
